To Quote My Favorite Communist...

So last night Al and I are watering his garden, and he is VERY concerned about what will happen to it...how will we move the plants, if they will be all right. You know where I'm going don't you?

Nietzsche be damned...but the analogy of one of my favorite Commies seemed more fitting than ever at that moment. To Al, he kept fixating on the "...kills us" part, but I think he got the point. I am through the worst of it, settling in to a state of acceptance that can only be described as reluctantly hesitant. Waking up this morning at my normal 6 a.m. rather than the almost 8 of the depressed squall of recent days.
A call from Slummy at 7:30 demanding this months rent, or face eviction failed to ruffle me. I flew right back at him...expressing my disapointment in his behavior as of late...and my inability to accomodate ALL of his demands, thus forcing him to choose between me being out in 30 days...or getting his rent money.

The main thing on my mind today is this: Will he stay sober through this? How can I not add to his grief and pain, while still taking care of my son?

People will lash out when hurting, not out of malice, but because they don't know any other way. I don't believe in my heart that Slummy is a malicious, cruel, man...not for a minute. I believe he and I are very much alike...and he is simply in enormous pain, and has no clue what he's doing.

He only knows he must get somewhere safe quickly, and this house is the closest he has to 'safe'. He needs this house probably more than we do right now.

I can accept that. I don't have to like it, but I do have to accept it, if I want peace of mind...

If you are reading this, my request is simple: Send him your good energy, your healing thoughts, your prayers...however you define this excercise in collective existentialism...he needs it more than Al and I.

I want to thank some people who's support and encouragement has been my sustenance. Who have been there for both of us, and who's patience with my healing and reeling over the last few months, giving of much needed 'breaks', laughing in all the right places...has much to do with why we call ourselves 'Family', and why I'm ABLE to accept and survive this situation.

Laura McMindes
Tempie Nichols-Rood
Larry Gable
Jerry Corbett Jr.
Beth Dunlap
B. Cain
and many more...on channel 4

We get back out of this life what we put in to it...everyone knows this, but how many of us BELIEVE and live by this? For me to see all that I have in my life..the immense abundance of love...it always takes something pulling me up out of my 'garden'. And so far in my life, every uprooting has never ceased to make me stronger.

Mi Vida Loca ... Oy!