In Sickness And In Health, Love Thyself

I am a notorious pesimist. You don't say? Well I am, and I mean pretty much about everything except Al. I am vigilant about not being that way towards him, and yet I forget he's not a moron. He sees me interact with others, or rather not interact, and he hears me lay (lie?) in judgment. My life experiences have given me a license to moan and moan I do, quite loudly at times. Wailing Wall type of moaning about woe is me, me , me. I am bitter, yes. I am hurt deeply, yes. But my core beliefs, regardless of my experiences, are that human beings are basically good, kind, love-needy things, who given the right set of circustances will seek approval at any cost.
My friend Marne fought breast cancer over the winter. When her hair fell out from the chemo she slapped on a knit beanie and kept on trudging. Not because she was ashamed of the way she looked, but because it was winter. People pulled away from Marne because they were afraid of their own mortality, not Marne's. Even at a Unitarian church, regardless of what we say we believe, death is scary as shit...especially when you can see it coming. The week Marne announced she was having her last round of chemo, I watched in shame (there's that judgement) as people started hugging, chatting, sitting by, and all around being friends again with Marne. Including myself. Maybe not that theatrically, but you get the point.
Last weekend Marne organized a Mothers Day May Pole for all the children at church. Her hair is coming back in now, and she's teaching dance again, this time for herself. She is full of more life, or rather, living life more fully, than she was PC. She'll tell you she's an old Hippie and her daughter Grace, with eyes rolling, will concur. As we all danced around the May Pole to the beat of a drum and Marne's tambourine, I had the idea that it's not the sickness that kills you its the response to the sickness. It's not your life experiences that destroy your spirit, it's your response to those experiences. I realize the entire planet has probably figured this one out already, but I'm a bit daft. Like I said, this was on Sunday.