Cat Rage

What I believe, is that there was never a moment after my daughter was taken into "Protective Custody" when anyone involved intended on making any legitimate attempt at returning her to me. I don't want to write about any of this anymore. It's that old familiar feeling of "Whats the use?" I want my life back, but don't want to do the work. I'm so over the isolation. Walking around in a crowd of people and not being able to get past the plexiglass reinforcements I've created. How's this helping Al, who I have to promise at least only once a month now, that they wont come take him again? And the anger at the cat. What's that about? I used to love animals, and now I'm just like "Do not under any circumstances love me." Is this one of those John Wayne, pull myself up by my boot strap kind of things? And if so, could I use a damn hoist cuz this crap I'm luggin around is heavy!