I'm either pre menstrual, or writing about Athena has depressed the hell out of me. Considering I've only had two periods in the last year it's most likely the latter. Somehow I have to forge ahead, knowing that on the other side will be a life again. My life. Or some semblance of it. This is literally the most I've ever consistently written about her, about what happened to my children and I, and I've not written anything have I? Rewriting my profile wiped me out for half the day. I posted it, took a shower, sat down on my bed, and couldn't get up. Writing about it, like talking about it, makes it far too real. If it's real, then I have to accept somehow the unacceptable.