Athena

"Push it out. Come on now, push it out so I can go home and go back to bed!"
He was the Obstetrician to the stars so to speak, used to wealthy, private pay clients who needed a fertility expert; because they had placed child bearing on hold until their careers were in place.
My age, and back to back pregnancies placed me in the high risk category.
I was his medicaid quota.
Medicaid is insurance for the poor.
He resented from day one that I expected to fully participate in my pregnancy.
It wasn't until the last trimester, when I started seeing him weekly that he became verbally abusive.
You can't just switch doctors on medicaid, and Athena was almost here so I just cried alot and sucked it up.
This was a far cry from my experience with Al, who had an amazing doc, and was born in a birthing center.
I remember saying something to Dr. S. about my child birth classes, and he said "Why?"
That "Why?" could go so many different ways, and has over the last six years.
Dr. S. is on the Board at the hospital where Athena finally came into this world, and he is a very powerful man in that fish tank existence.
I did as he said and I pushed "It" out, my beautiful dark haired baby girl Athena George.
He turned and walked out of the room.
The next morning a social worker from the hospital and a pediatrician came to my room.
They informed me Athena was showing signs of withrawl.
Withdrawl? From what prenatal vitamins?
They said she was shaking uncontrollably.
Are they crazy?
"Are you crazy?"
The room is now spinning and I am having a difficult time making sense of what they are saying.
Benzodiazapines...test positive...addicted...
No, they are confused. "Dr. S knows I take valium as needed. I have had the same prescription for six months, Dr. C. presribes it, call Dr. C. he will tell you. No wait, test ME! I took one three weeks ago, and one on Easter just test me!
I can get the bottle so you can see I have hardly taken any...AND DR. S. SAID IT WAS ALLRIGHT!!!!!!"
They leave.
I am holding Athena so tightly I am afraid I will hurt her.
She is purring.
Not shaking.
What is happening?